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I have 2 boys , 15 and 7. which are the apples naughty want for sex of my eye. I used to blame myself too for all she accused me of. After 17 years , i think I understand the process that my wife goes through. I think it starts with her depression , she feels bad about herself and does not want to believe that it is her own fault. Then she looks for an outside excuse to blame her unhappieness and what is a more convinient excuse than your spouse? In her case , it could also be the maid , the gardener, a co worker , her boss , the diver of the next car , you get the picture. Also anger is usually a follow up to depression , like a quick release. Sounds familiar? it was definitely a WTF moment for me Rumford because she was a known pain slut, and I had barely even gotten warmed up. I never really had too much socialization growing up and most of the people in my life that I have seen cry were in some kind of severe distress battle fatigue or wounded or death, that sort of thing. So my first response was that something was wrong and I needed to identify it immediately. Part of that was because it was the first time we played so even though I had vague idea as to her limits, I didn't honestly "know" her limits. He is diagnosed does not take meds. He can be warm and loving for a few days then blow up over the smallest thing he is a bully though he does not names My grandchildren live with me we have custody. They are his step grandchildren. He is good to them but there are times he is too harsh. I feel mentally worn down. We have credit card debt that be paid off next year. There are other issues like finding day care for the while I work I work nights and weekend. My is the dad I can't count on him. The mom is in prison. I earn 1, a month. That isn't much considering I would need to rent a 3 bedroom apt. Because I have one grandson one grandaughter. Thanks for the ear. Sherrie